Temper tantrum ~TJ85

I admit it – I had a major tantrum this morning. Every day since starting this lifestyle change with Steve I have got up, had a wee and waited for……… no delicate way to put it lol – waste disposal!

After this I strip off and weigh and measure, this is usually an exciting process because mostly the weight is down or stable and the fat mass is down and muscle mass up – as a general trend – not every single day.

This morning, after a great run yesterday, which was followed by a mile and a quarter walk with a walking group, (links below) I did the usual. To my absolute and abject horror I had gained nearly 2 kilos – almost 4 pounds. I went from 0 – ballistic in nanoseconds, there were tears, much foul language and general noise and ranting. I sent poor Steve an e-mail full of depression, anger and hurt.

Some while later I realised that it was the repair crews and nanobots in to fix my muscles after all the damage I did yesterday – whoops. I got an e-mail from Steve telling me so at about the same time that I realised. By this time I had skipped breakfast and lunch in an attempt to fast for 24 hours to shift the weight or water or whatever evil thing had invaded my body.

All this of course relates beautifully to the chimp thing.

When Steve first started to explain the mechanics of diet, exercise, nutrition and brain to me, he told me about the reptilian instinctive brain that controls all the basic stuff and is about survival. I knew of this from before but now for some reason it resonated and I found Lizzie – my inner lizard. She and I chat sometimes about how I want it to be! Well chat is maybe not the right word, it’s more me telling her to do stuff to help me. Sounds daft, but when I am running and I can’t get my breath or the burning starts in the legs I tell her I have to run or we will not survive (then I make up some rubbish about being chased by something), maybe it is the simple act of NOT thinking about the issue that stops it becoming a problem. I don’t care what it is but it works for me.

So, after Lizzie was ‘born’, further explanations followed about how the body tears muscle when exercising and then it all gets repaired, and it is better and stronger after the repairs. Being me I imagined nanobots and lizards doing the work and that is what Steve and I now call it 🙂

I went so far as to have a drawing of calf muscle repairs done to illustrate to Steve what I felt was happening – how I perceived his scientific explanation. I like it as just a picture but it is very symbolic of my journey. I had it done on five squids (link below) by a very talented man called Pixomanic.

How I imagine my muscles being repaired

How I imagine my muscles being repaired

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4 thoughts on “Temper tantrum ~TJ85

  1. I’m reading the chimp paradox at the moment ( slowly there’s alot to take in) p125 says ‘the person that you want to be is the person that you really are’. He says that when your thoughts get hijacked by the chimp ( or lizzie in your case) it makes you present yourself to the world in ways you don’t like. So knowing where you want to be and asserting that over the chimp/lizard is the thing to do to be true to yourself.
    I hope your pounds drop off after a rest day, that happens to me too after a long run but I try to keep the long view!

  2. I am usually Ok with it – but I was soooooo tired, all of yesterday was a big day, the parkrun, overcoming demons, the new group. I am finding the chimp book very useful in my life.

  3. Hey I’ve nominated you for the Liebster and Versatile blogger awards. If you have already been nominated, I apologize, but hey, nothing wrong with nominated twice ay? 😉 *self esteem boost*
    I love reading you blog *double esteem boost* 😛
    God bless,
    Lauren xx

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